"Yeah." He sighs loudly, absently scratching his arms; left then right, left then right. Suddenly he scratches his head furiously with both hands in frustration. "Look, about what happened yesterday . . . . I mean with the picture and everything . . . . like . . . . I'm sorry, I was always going to tell you, but . . . ."
I slam the console with my fist and turn my head away from him, trying not to bawl like a baby.
He touches my shoulder. "Hey c'mon man, what you need is to blow off some steam. You're much too fuckin' tense. Hey, we'll go get shit-faced when we hit Vancouver, or somethin'."
"Thanks doctor. That's all the world needs: two more sloppy drunks."
Silence. The ship rolls and strains against the anchor cable as it tries to follow the tide out to sea. A steel door crashes, muffled by distance. Casey clears his throat: "It's all my fault, you know." His voice falters, grows husky: "I lead you on . . . . like . . . . like I kinda knew but didn't, if you know what I mean."
"You knew?"
"No. I dunno. I mean . . . . it's like I wanted to see what would happen, I guess. Like . . . . when I think of . . . . I guess if I ever . . . . I guess it would be someone like you. Fuck!! I'm sorry, I really am." He gently squeezes my right arm just above my wrist, but after ten seconds of his heat he removes his hand, and I die.
Then we jump, wide-eyed, startled by a wierd, sobbing wail from the loudspeakers. Then another. Then a chorus. I grab two cold, greasy sonar headsets and plug them into the console. The headsets are ancient, pre-plastic, original Second World War issue; corroded and filthy from generations of sweat and panic.
I show Casey his volume control, then flip a worn brass toggle switch, and five decks below, hydraulic pumps ram the huge sonar transducer through its seal in the bottom of the ship. Soon the roar in our earphones changes to a cacophony of shrimp-clickings, crab-poppings and porpoise-whistlings, and Casey's face becomes that of a child who has for the first time seen the stars. I curse my camera stowed away in my locker.
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